


Damaged people

by Saturnmond



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Canon Universe, Fluff, Hurt and comfort, Hux is Bad at Feelings, M/M, Tumblr Prompt, benarmie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-16 09:27:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13633470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saturnmond/pseuds/Saturnmond
Summary: Here is my collection of Kylux prompts.Rating may go up later since I also write NSFW occasionally.





	1. "I just want to see you smile"

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: "I just want to see you smile". A fluffy Kylux Modern!AU.

“What is this about, Ren?”  
Even though Hux knows better, there is an annoyed edge to his tone that makes Ren frown. In hindsight, his expression has been strangely hopeful from the moment Hux stepped into their shared apartment. But Hux is too tired to correct himself, eyes barely open above purple shadows and hollow cheeks. His day has been abysmal to the point where he actually considered throwing Mitaka out of the window for nervously declaring the loss of important insurance files, potentially costing them half a fortune. So Hux is understandably unenthusiastic about the prospect of any more surprises, especially the kind that will make his childish boyfriend excited enough to practically leap on him before he even has the chance to take his coat off.   
  
“You will see.”  
  
Ren hovers over him radiating his particular brand of intense energy which normally never fails to make his cock hard. Today, however he can’t bring himself to consider anything other than to watch some mindless television show until he falls asleep drooling on Ren’s massive chest. There is a kink in his neck that has been making it exceedingly difficult to turn his head while the cramped muscles in his back are painfully reminding him that he is approaching his mid-thirties and thus, leaving his prime faster than expected. Which is especially ironic, seeing as some of his co-workers are inappropriately upset because of his age and the fact, that he’s in a position of power while they are doomed to spend the rest of their work life underneath him.   
Although they should all feel thoroughly satisfied as  _First Order Corp_. has sealed important deals throughout the last two years of his leadership, he notices sharp eyes following him to his office, arrogant smirks in the canteen where he is forced to listen to poorly concealed gossip about his abilities, supposedly bad decisions and, infuriatingly, his relationship to the heir of a rivalling company.  _Conflict of interest!_ They spout such garbage with revolting confidence, making Hux wonder if he is actually paying High Schoolers for playing dress up six days a week.  
  
When Ren rests his hands on his shoulders, Hux can’t help but feel himself melt into the familiar warmth. After they first started fucking, almost six years ago, Ren had been amused with Hux’s post-coital behaviour: Entirely too fixated on Ren’s size, idly touching every muscle to feel it flex beneath his fingertips, culminating in his still lingering tendency to press their palms together, marvelling at the difference. Maybe it’s some kind of soothing spell, because Hux sighs when Ren does it now, leaning in for a small kiss that leaves Hux wanting.

“Not yet.”   
It is truly annoying Hux how Ren seems to enjoy this artifically constructed sense of superiority over him. Why can’t he just get it over with so that they can move on to more pleasant parts of the evening?  
Ren apparently notices the shift in Hux’s mood. He always does. Sometimes this causes them to shout at each other until Ren decides to silence him by crushing their mouths together, their passion often bordering on actual violence. Other times, Ren feels particularly sensitive about any perceived slight and Hux can’t  bring himself to soothe his every whim, causing them to bite with words until their minds are bleeding. It is when Hux ponders the potential end of their relationship, that he’s overcome by grief, so violently that it tears down the walls of his pride, bit by bit, until he can see Ren again, standing on the other side.   
  
Now, it makes his boyfriend grab his chin and force him to stare into his eyes. Hux’s dick twitches hopefully, sensing the beginning of an intense session of fucking, but he only meets warm reassurance: “I promise it’s worth it.”  
Hux opens his mouth to protest, he hates games like these, but Ren’s hand is quicker, pressing down on his lips. 

“Are you going to be trusting and good for me, Hux?”  
  
Hux stares wide eyed and nods as if compelled by an unseen force.   
“I am now going to give you your surprise and you’re going to close your eyes and wait it out patiently.” Something in Ren’s gaze hardens with want, making Hux gasp wetly against his palm. “And afterwards you can reward me by putting that mouth to better use than complaining.”  
  
Hux is speechless but he likes being told what to do at times, especially when work has drained him to an empty shell of exhaustion.   
  
However, he feels helplessly stupid, standing there with his eyes closed in the middle of their kitchen, but even he can’t find it in him to spoil whatever Ren has planned –no matter his reservations. His heartbeat spikes anxiously when the rustling next door stops, and Ren’s shuffling footsteps come closer.   
  
“Give me your hand.”

  
“Ren—”

  
“Don’t be so fucking paranoid.” That asshole has the audacity to laugh at him!

  
Lifting his palm uncertainly, he shrieks when it touches something soft and warm. Ren catches his wrist, locking him in place and guiding his hand down carefully. It is then, that a satisfied chirp solves the mystery.   
  
“You didn’t…”  
  
Hux eyes flutter open. His sweaty palm is pressed against the fur of a red cat, currently busy with curiously sniffing at him with its pink, wet nose. Ren looks down at him smugly, clearly expecting to be praised as he holds the cat like a prize he just won.   
“Her name is Millicent!” Ren announces pompously.  
  
Heat rises to Hux’s cheeks as emotions was over him. There is something in the pit of his stomach that now of all moments decides to frantically crawl its way up into his throat, effectively robbing him of his breath. Ren and the cat blur over before Hux manages to wipe at his eyes, embarrassed by his outburst.  
  
Ren seems worried, knitting his brows together: “You’re not seriously mad at me, are you?”  
Hux shakes his head, voice stolen by this unspeakable thing still expanding, spilling into his chest. He tries to compose himself as quickly as possible, warmth spreading to his hands and legs, head swimming. He feels insane all of a sudden, wants to leap up and kiss this strange, giant-man for falling into his life, but all he manages is: “I really hope you know how much a cat costs.”  
  
Ren inhales, to say something stupid without a doubt, so it is Hux who shushes him this time, kissing him softly.   
“I can’t believe it!” Ren says after they separated. “You’re still like this! Will you smile already? You always look so fucking defeated, I hate it. I just want to see you smile.”  
Too exhausted for a witty remark, Hux does so, noticing that it doesn’t feel as foreign as expected, although it makes his cheeks hurt. For once, everything seems to be exactly where it should be.

Ren smirks: “I told you, you could put your mouth to better use.”  
  
Hux raises an eyebrow. “I can’t believe how cheesy that is. I am offended.”  
  
Ren leans forward once more, lips brushing purposefully against the sensitive skin of Hux’s ear: “You can also give me a blowjob.”


	2. "I thought I could trust you"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Canonverse: "I thought I could trust you" and "You never loved me, you loved what I could give you."

Ren stared at the dark ceiling of his quarters, listening to the far away chatter of some negligent stormtroopers on night-shift while Hux drooled on his naked chest. At night, the blackness of his room seemed to swallow the walls until he wondered if they weren’t all fated to aimlessly drift away into the nothingness of space. He often felt like that, dreading approaching sleep an animal that would tear chunks out of his chest, watchful of him ever since he had been a small child. At first, he had thought his parents never took him seriously when he staggered into their room at night, feet bare and cheeks wet, crying about an absence of light he was too young to understand. Ironically, it turned out he shouldn’t have feared the possibility of them downplaying his night terrors, he should have been terrified about what would happen if they didn’t.

  
Hux twitched in his sleep, almost awake for a second, before he pressed his cheeks more firmly into Ren’s collarbone. Ren turned his head to bury his nose into Hux’s hair. It never smelled of anything in particular, to be honest. Just clean in a way that shouldn’t have been so absurdly comforting since he was sure, Hux only ever used the First Order’s standard soap –unscented of course.  
Ren was not sure how he found himself in such a compromising position, only ever able to fall asleep after he had put his dick into his General, but here he was. When it started, they had been needlessly violent, enjoying how much sicker they could get from drinking each other’s pain. It had never been their plan to cling and share a bed like some bizarre parody of a couple in love.  
It was then, that Ren could feel Hux’s pale eyelashes flutter open, tickling against the sensitive skin on Ren’s chest like the most ridiculously fragile thing. Of course, Hux would wake up when he indulged in stupid thoughts. Sometimes Ren wondered if he secretly wasn’t the only one able to sense a shift in the force, Hux’s horrible timing impossible to explain otherwise.

“Ren…” Even though barely awake, his voice was already edging its way towards harsh again. “Why aren’t you asleep, yet?”

Ren did not answer immediately. He took pleasure in letting Hux simmer for a while, just to remind him that the supreme leader could do whatever he wanted. Also, the question was rich coming from a person who usually needed to stim himself into a half-coma to find some semblance of sleep –at least if Ren’s dick was not available.

Hux was predictably unamused. Ren did not even need to consult the force to feel Hux’s irritation nip at him like an angry loth-cat. “May I remind you of the fact that we have an important meeting tomorrow? You need an appropriate amount of sleep to fully function. The Theselans do not appreciate inattention.”  
His own annoyance took Ren off guard. “Well, what a shame. Maybe I will have the meeting cancelled all together.”

“What?” Hux began to untangle his limbs from Ren’s immediately, shoving his arm away before he sat up to rub at his temples. “The Theselans control a substantial part of Agor-5’s mines. We are in dire need of resources after our failure on Crait—”

“No.” Ren’s voice slices into Hux’s word like a blade. He can feel Hux’s body go tense, feels his own jaw setting. Ever since the incident, they have avoided talking about it. The thought of his mother, standing back while his uncle mocked him by dying, leaving Ren alone on a mountain of mistakes that he helped to commit, high and mighty even as he faded. And Rey. Rey looking down on him as she locked him out of his own sanity. “I forbid you from saying it.”  
Hux’s eyebrows shot up, scoffing humourlessly: “You’re being carried away by your imagination. I am just stating facts, supreme leader.” Hux was apparently back to using his title like an insult, every syllable spoken with needless care.

Ren stayed quiet, his teeth pressed together until he felt his skull ringing. That’s right. He had allowed all of this to happen by indulging his own childish needs for comfort, preferring a warm embrace to a much-needed victory. Somewhere along the way, he had started to believe Hux gasped his name against his lips because he needed him, not because he was close to coming. And now he had to endure the man stabbing at his wounds like a cruel child dissecting an insect to find out how it worked. Ren knew that this was what Hux had intended to do all along: Open him up nicely and ask for control. He should have torn apart Hux’s mind himself, but his heart always fluttered in sobbing denial when he tried.

“I see.” Hux swung his legs over the edge of the bed and began to reach for his pants “You’re in a mood again. I will come back when you’re ready to see reason.”

“No.” Ren sounded flat, even to himself. Something had awoken in his chest and it had Rey’s eyes and Han’s hands and it felt like the remnants of his mother’s good night’s kiss. Why did everyone try to kill him in his sleep?

“Pardon?” Hux tried to put on a façade as he pulled a black undershirt over his scrawny chest. Despite his demeanor, Ren could feel the worry radiating off of him, like a distressing holonet broadcast.

“You heard me. Stay.”

“What is wrong with you? You are behaving strangely. Even more so than usual.”

“Why are you doing this, Hux?”

“What? Leave?” There was a confused hint of amusement in Hux’s words, but it was unconvincing. Ren knew he was close to finding out the truth.  
“I should be the one asking what has gotten—” His voice cut off abruptly when Ren ripped the uniform-jacket out of his hands with the force.

“You know exactly what I mean. This.” Ren gestured dramatically around the room. Normally it would have pulled a sarcastic remark out of Hux, but not this time. He was watching Ren, growing pale, eyes wide with something akin of fear. “Why aren’t you leaving after I fucked you, huh? Is it because the general likes to be held after sucking cock? Yes? You know I could crack your mind open like an egg and just see all the bullshit, Hux!”

Hux was just standing there, arms hanging limply at his sides. Even though he was obscured by darkness, Ren could practically see the red splotches appearing on his white face.

“You impertinent child…” Hux’s voice was quivering, but he kept himself composed. “I am leaving.”

“I thought I could trust you. You never loved me, you loved what I could give you. Power, mainly. Because this is all you care about, isn’t it?”

Hux’s exhaled shakily in the silence of the room, hand outstretched to open the door, yet inexplicably hesitating to leave.

Ren stared at his narrow frame, suddenly missing how Hux’s fringe would tickle his face. After he had first remarked about it, Hux had made sure to always comb out the gel when he climbed into his bed after a shift. Ren felt as if someone has kicked him in the sternum.

Neither of them talked for a while.

“That’s not it…” Ren muttered, slowly treading at the edge of Hux’s mind. Although always putting an affront of sturdiness, it feels frayed and paper-thin, like the set of a stage-play. An ever-present feeling of loneliness, almost mellow, a shrill of anxiety that sounded like his father’s bellowing voice and beneath that, deeper, something else. Warm. A delicate little emotion that didn’t want to be touched. Ren gasped, brows knitted together too tightly. “You love me.”

Hux moans and jolts to leave, but turns around instead. He has a look of disgust on his face, desperately clutching at his snarl, even when his eyes gloss over. “Are you having fun? Is this what you’re doing now? How about you choke me some more, while you’re at it, Ren? Maybe you’d want to grab me by the hair and drag me to the bridge, so my officers can see me smashed against the walls some more?”

Ren shook his head standing. He was slow, approaching Hux like a frightened animal. “You told yourself it was more practical to combine our evenings with discussions about matters of the order. You looked for excuses. You have always—”

“Stop!” Silenced by the genuine pain in Hux’s voice, Ren just stood there, waiting. “Don’t do this. Get out of my head! Stop it with this nonsense…Stop playing with me—”

When Hux’s mind screams to be touched, Ren lunges forward and grabs him in his arms, trapping him against the cold durasteel wall and the head of his body. Hux protested weakly, a wet sound dying at the back of his throat, before his head falls forward.

“I am sorry.” Ren muttered, lips moving against Hux’s damp forehead. “I am sorry…”

“No…” Was all Hux whispered, yet he did not push Ren away and even complied when he was holstered into Ren’s arms to be carried back into bed.

Ren didn’t know how long they laid there, silently floating away into space through the non-existent ceiling, hands tangled in each other’s hair, mouths moving around meaningless words.

But it was not frightening anymore.


End file.
